Disappointment results~

MST results were a disappointment. Failed the paper by a mark. Can you imagine how agony it feels when you just need 1 mark to pass?!!!! All I need is one tiny weeny mark but God didn't grant me the chance to pass.

MAf tutor spoke to me and asked what happened. She expected I would pass, even with a marginal mark but I disappointed her. She asked was it because I didn't understand the concepts, lack of preparation, did not attempt tutorials or didn't know how to do. I could not give her an answer, for I did not even know the answer! I just looked at her, shaked my head and shudder my shoulders. I attended lectures, attempted tutorials, tried past years papers, did all I could do to make myself understand the subject. At the end, I still could not make it. Given my results, how am I ever make it to uni??!!!! Regretted not studying well enough in year 1. Year 1 is the best time to really chiong for grades. Lesser projects, lesser deadlines to rush. Since school started in year 2, haven't had a good day of school. With all the projects deadlines to submit and assignments rushing, always sleeping after 12mn everyday and having difficulties to pay attention during lessons the next day. I tried to sleep early, but always failed to.

Even if I go for lectures, I'm also not understanding them. Literally just copied the answers without even considering what I've written makes sense. Tutor said this semester is a very crucial semester. It's either you make it or you don't. And those words left an impact in my mind. I don't want to fail, don't want to retake, not even wish to stay back for 4.1!!! I'm going for internship in sem 3.1 and that makes it even harder to score well. Sem 3.2 is the one and only last chance to flip myself from a salted fish back to a normal fish. I really sincerely hope I'm able to finish my studies smoothly. No failing/ re-taking of modules!! Tell me how can I digest my work well.

Alright, gonna crash, Head's spinning. Gonna wake up at 9am to complete my erm project and send to cindy to collate. Work at 6. Brain's too small to entertain foolish thoughts.
Gosh, I really need a breather! Suffocating to death soon~