MST results were a disappointment. Failed the paper by a mark. Can you imagine how agony it feels when you just need 1 mark to pass?!!!! All I need is one tiny weeny mark but God didn't grant me the chance to pass.
MAf tutor spoke to me and asked what happened. She expected I would pass, even with a marginal mark but I disappointed her. She asked was it because I didn't understand the concepts, lack of preparation, did not attempt tutorials or didn't know how to do. I could not give her an answer, for I did not even know the answer! I just looked at her, shaked my head and shudder my shoulders. I attended lectures, attempted tutorials, tried past years papers, did all I could do to make myself understand the subject. At the end, I still could not make it. Given my results, how am I ever make it to uni??!!!! Regretted not studying well enough in year 1. Year 1 is the best time to really chiong for grades. Lesser projects, lesser deadlines to rush. Since school started in year 2, haven't had a good day of school. With all the projects deadlines to submit and assignments rushing, always sleeping after 12mn everyday and having difficulties to pay attention during lessons the next day. I tried to sleep early, but always failed to.
Even if I go for lectures, I'm also not understanding them. Literally just copied the answers without even considering what I've written makes sense. Tutor said this semester is a very crucial semester. It's either you make it or you don't. And those words left an impact in my mind. I don't want to fail, don't want to retake, not even wish to stay back for 4.1!!! I'm going for internship in sem 3.1 and that makes it even harder to score well. Sem 3.2 is the one and only last chance to flip myself from a salted fish back to a normal fish. I really sincerely hope I'm able to finish my studies smoothly. No failing/ re-taking of modules!! Tell me how can I digest my work well.
Alright, gonna crash, Head's spinning. Gonna wake up at 9am to complete my erm project and send to cindy to collate. Work at 6. Brain's too small to entertain foolish thoughts.
Gosh, I really need a breather! Suffocating to death soon~
Friday, January 6, 2012
Back again after donkey years~
Okay I'm back to my blog after 2 years plus. Totally forgot my blog still exists~ 2011 had been a hectic year and wasn't a smooth sailing one. Many things happened, some which I would not want to mention at all. Nonetheless, ended the last day of 2011 with a bang. Went vivocity for an impromptu countdown and to catch fireworks as well. Awesome fireworks to end it off wasn't a bad idea!!
Oh yes, I finally left cartel and joined gio on 25th Oct. Pay wasn't that much but at least I'm freed from that hell place. Spent my 2 weeks' break working, hoping that I will earn as much in the shortest time possible to repay Sarah. She was kind enough to loan me $350 to pay the fine. How did this fine came about? Well, naive-ess. More of stupidity I suppose. Even though I've heard rumours of him not being able to repay what he borrowed, I still went ahead and sign up an iphone for him. Really ought to slap myself to death.
He did not pay the bills; instead he went RWS to gamble. This kind of person ought to be banged to death, isn't it? His sister did not want to settle the bills because they fell out with each other over the iphone. His family gave him a big scolding and sent him off to KL. Initially, he assured me he's gonna to clear all the bills. Now, he's leaving this big pile of shit to clear for him! What's worse was, he could not be reached at his msia no anymoreeeeee. I'm really dead meat now. ''
Mum will definitely be livid if she knows about this matter. I really have no idea how am I gonna survive this. My heart can't take another lawyer's letter again. What I earned every month is not even enough to pay half of the bills! To top it off, I still have to pay my transport fees, meal allowance and etc. I am seriously in deep shit trouble now. Everytime when I open my letterbox, my hand trembles. I don't wish to receive any letters with my name on it. He even ignored the FB messages. Feeling super frustrated and lethargic about it and there's no one I can talk to about this matter so I can only post on my blog. Chinese New year is round the corner but I still have so much things in my head. Can't help but have a bad feeling like I will be kicked out of school if I'm taken to court for the next fine or mum will disown me. At times, really want to jump off and end this. Only when I disappear then everything will come to an end because that matter will remain a mystery forever. *double sighs*
Oh yes, I finally left cartel and joined gio on 25th Oct. Pay wasn't that much but at least I'm freed from that hell place. Spent my 2 weeks' break working, hoping that I will earn as much in the shortest time possible to repay Sarah. She was kind enough to loan me $350 to pay the fine. How did this fine came about? Well, naive-ess. More of stupidity I suppose. Even though I've heard rumours of him not being able to repay what he borrowed, I still went ahead and sign up an iphone for him. Really ought to slap myself to death.
He did not pay the bills; instead he went RWS to gamble. This kind of person ought to be banged to death, isn't it? His sister did not want to settle the bills because they fell out with each other over the iphone. His family gave him a big scolding and sent him off to KL. Initially, he assured me he's gonna to clear all the bills. Now, he's leaving this big pile of shit to clear for him! What's worse was, he could not be reached at his msia no anymoreeeeee. I'm really dead meat now. ''
Mum will definitely be livid if she knows about this matter. I really have no idea how am I gonna survive this. My heart can't take another lawyer's letter again. What I earned every month is not even enough to pay half of the bills! To top it off, I still have to pay my transport fees, meal allowance and etc. I am seriously in deep shit trouble now. Everytime when I open my letterbox, my hand trembles. I don't wish to receive any letters with my name on it. He even ignored the FB messages. Feeling super frustrated and lethargic about it and there's no one I can talk to about this matter so I can only post on my blog. Chinese New year is round the corner but I still have so much things in my head. Can't help but have a bad feeling like I will be kicked out of school if I'm taken to court for the next fine or mum will disown me. At times, really want to jump off and end this. Only when I disappear then everything will come to an end because that matter will remain a mystery forever. *double sighs*
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